You can’t be proactive until you know what’s already available or happening. I deal with giftedness, remember, so this post is about that kind of child and family.
Where Do You Begin?
You’ve already chosen the school. Maybe you followed the advice of others, or maybe you researched the neighborhood to see which school your children would attend. Maybe the school is working well for one of your children but not for another. That happens. Anyway, that choice is made for now and your dear child is starting a new school year.
Begin with the assumption that everything will be all right. It sets a good tone for your children. Get together all the materials the new teacher sent you, e.g., crayons, backpack, paper, the right kind of folders, etc.) and find out all you can from the school’s website and any other communications they send you. Depending on your children’s levels of giftedness and the “luck of the draw” when classrooms and teachers are assigned, you don’t know yet what’s good or wrong or not going to work. So stop worrying.
Talk to your children about how making new friends takes time. Depending on their grade level and whether the school is new to your family, there may be some students who are also new, while others may already have established friend groups.
Try not to use the word “bored” with your child, the school, or the teacher. It can come across as insulting and does not start a productive conversation about how you and the teacher can work together. Instead of stepping in too quickly, encourage your children to learn how to occupy themselves while you help create an environment that supports their interests. Parents do not need to direct everything. As long as safety is monitored, children can learn a great deal on their own when given the opportunity and the right setting.
Ask your child to keep a simple list—by writing, drawing, or telling you later at home so you can create it together—of what is and isn’t working. Talk about friendships, assigned work and lessons, whether they are interesting, how they feel about the classroom, whether they have enough time to do what they want, and what they would like to do but never get the chance to during the day.
Then let your child know that you will listen very carefully at the Back to School Night to learn more about what you all can expect and look forward to. Here is a good article that sums up how to approach that special evening:
Back-to-school night basics, by Marian Wilde, https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/back-to-school-night/
What I like best about this article’s advice, having been both an elementary school teacher and a parent myself, are these key points:
Find out if you can bring the kids.
Devise a strategy if you need to visit more than one child’s classroom.
Bring a pen and paper because internet connection may not work for you.
If other parents are there, don’t ask specific questions about your child.
Bring a note for the teacher about your child.
Be ready to volunteer.
Back to School Night is not the time to ask questions about your own child but to find out what the teacher has planned for the school year and how it will go. Figuring out a way to become a volunteer is an excellent way to learn more about the school, of course, but you will also get to know the teachers better.
Next Steps
Generally Back to School Night isn’t until the end of the third or fourth week of school. Try not to see it as a waste of academic time if your child or you suspect your child isn’t having their needs met or not learning anything new. In my life I’ve learned that it takes time to get the “lay of the land.” For anyone. Depending on their personalities and styles, some children will beg to stay there regardless of how little new they might be learning. We can work around that later.
Sit down again with your children to go over the lists so far. What’s working and what’s not working? Reach out to the teacher and whoever else you are supposed to include to ask if you can visit your child’s (or children’s) classroom for about 15 minutes someday soon. Set the date.
What Should Parents Look For When Visiting a School?
In my Substack chat group some people engaged in a conversation about what it was like when their children started school. At the time I was feeling their pain as the parents of highly gifted children, but I quickly thought back to my own teaching days and my own eventual ways of making it smoother for my own children. When I was a teacher, I had no idea what giftedness was. I’d had no training whatsoever in how much same-aged children in the typical classroom varied from one another. I made some mistakes. Yes, I remember clearly saying to a kind mother that I would allow her son to move ahead to something more interesting and that fit him better when he’d finish the work we were doing. Yes, I know now he didn’t need to do the work at all that I was insisting he do.
When you visit the school, be mostly like a fly on the wall. Sense the atmosphere. Look for what you might want to do to help or change anything. If the time period you are there is about math, ask if you can take a break and come back for another lesson or activity a bit later. The point is to get a feel for what works and doesn’t work. Then compare your visit’s findings with the list your child has made. Discuss whether your child would like you to talk to the teacher about anything.
Here Are Some of the “Anythings” You Can Do
When it comes to some learning and activities, intellectual levels don’t matter as much. Being a kid, interacting with others in an authentically fun or interesting environment, that’s what to look for. What kinds of activities do your children like to do when they are home or simply not in school? If they love to read, let the teacher know that you want—are okay with—letting your child have time to read what he wants when most of the class is working on learning to memorize letter sounds or flashcards/single words.
If your child loves puzzles or activity sheets—or anything else that can be turned into an activity center—advanced learners and others can earn time (by being p to date on assignments, for example) to go to and do their own thing. Volunteer to come in to help supervise or coordinate activities. See if the teacher would be comfortable with you or other parents setting up activities that combine what different children have been asking to do. If you need them, have fundraisers online or through the parents organization.
You can offer to share what you know and are learning. See if the teacher will accept the occasional print-out of something useful from some of the blogs you follow, for example. You can also ask the teacher if they would accept materials from you (like those activity booklets) so that other children in the classroom can enjoy those activities, as well. This approach frees the teacher up to focus on students who need a little extra help with the basics.
Go to the myriad gifted parent groups on Facebook and elsewhere and ask for suggestions for activities and materials. Think outside the box.
How rapidly could the child progress through grades K-6 lessons and objectives?
The following is an “on average” estimate. How long it would take the child to progress through the grade levels still depends on the relativity factor of who else is there. Schools and teachers do teach to the main body of students rather than any particular level. Consider this as you deal with the early grades and what you might need to weave in later:
Level One (Moderately Gifted) ~ 4 years
Level Two (Highly Gifted) ~ about 3 years
Level Three Exceptionally Gifted) ~ 2 years
Level 4 Exceptionally to Profoundly Gifted in one or more of their specialty areas) ~ 1–2 years or less
Level Five (across the board, Profoundly Gifted) ~ less than 1 year
What’s Next?
Depending on your child’s strengths, weaknesses and Level of Giftedness, their preschool and kindergarten years should be fine with these tweaks. A true Montessori School, in my seasoned opinion, is always the better option when available. Keep reading my posts and I will keep sharing options. If you are in a panicky hurry, though, (and believe me, I understand!) read my first book and the sequel listed and explained below. Also, the little book published in between is easy and helpful, too. I will continue to point you to ideas that you can implement.